People usually ask obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:
here u go ........
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here? Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt? Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?
3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask... Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people. Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good? 7Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years. Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well? Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping? Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut? Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts? Answer: No it won’t. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke. Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!
